Can I get a Sub??

So most of you know that I want to become a teacher. Most of you know that it scares the crap out of me. ME? Teach? People?

I am slowly starting to see what you need to do to become a teacher.

1. Stop cussing. SHIT NO!!

2. Start looking in to schools that have a master's degree program.

-Thanks to Sister Jessica (no she is not a nun) she told me that getting a MASTERS in teaching is the key to being a sucessful teacher (well you make more money....lets be honest) SO I have started the application process to CU at Denver for a teaching license/masters. It will take about 1.5 years for the license- then you get a job and while you are teacing it will only take about 6-12 months to get a masters. (Can I get a master in the universe? answer: No)

3. Get your substitue teaching license from the Colorado dept. of education.

-DONE. It only took about 3 months to get but I finally got it.

4. Start applying in all the districts that allow a 3-year subbing license.

-SO today- I had my first interview at DPS. It was sort of like a speed dating set up to where you have 10 minutes to sell yourself, they email you the questions they will ask you....so you really have no way to screw this up. UNLESS you are Michael Jackson. Or you say, "I don't LIKE kids I LOVE them...and its not just LOVE- its LOVE LOVE." Or you could even say, "I was in jail once for being in a chat room with a bunch of 15 year olds, but that was like 10 years ago so no big deal."
SO IF I do not get this job- it will burst my ego so bad that I will quit this dream all together and become a pan handler on Parker and 225. I bet they make just as much money as me....
So I sit down in front of this girl who is about my age. She has the cutest shortest bouncy hair and she is just a damn cute girl. I mean- if she was my teacher, I would be jealous of her good looks. She tells me that her interview partner went to his car and he would be right back. The head hancho lady comes by and tells me in a kidding way, "Don't be nervous by just sitting here and waiting!!" Well great. Thanks. Now I AM nervous.
So me and this chick are just bullshitting about how nice the weather is for it being February. She finally says that we can just get started with the first question....Which was, "Why do you want to work in an urban and diverse school district like DPS?" So I go on to say that although I have grown up in the CCSD and loved it- I would like to broden my search and passion for teaching with the less fortante kids and kids that are in poverty because I think it is a great opportunity to get as many great teachers as we can to help those kids in need and get those CSAP score up. (or some bullshit like that....) So as we go on to the next question her interview partner returns. She tells him that we just went over the first question....and as she pauses...I quickly say, "And I NAILED it!!" They both look over at me. This guy is older and kind of chuckles but he probably does not get me or even knows what "nailed it" means. The chick starts laughing but in my head I am thinking, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! No time for jokes!!" Why can I not be serious in these interviews?!
So they continue on question after question....they come up with the one where if I go into a classroom where a teacher does not have a lesson plan, what would I do...well I explain that you have to be prepared for everything in any kind of job you have. I start telling them about the "bag of tricks" that I have (which I DO NOT have...so I totally lied) but Jessica told me that some subs have a bag of tricks that have lessons plans and activites just in case the teachers do not leave them with stuff. SO I use this. But then I start thinking, maybe its not called a "bag of tricks" maybe its called a "bag of magic" and I start freaking out again. But I just continue talking out of my ass because at this point, it has been working, right?

SO we end they interview with a, we will let you know by end of school day tomorrow. As I am leaving, I hear the guy as the girl about the first question. What? He did not believe me that I NAILED IT?!

Ahhh....man....We will see where this teaching career goes, AND I cannot wait to see my first day as a sub, or a teacher for that matter. Sometimes I think Mom dropped me on the head quite a few times when I was a baby.