Steve and I decided to grill out the other night- It has been such an awesome November .... NO SNOW ... which means, lets have steak on the grill!! OK!!
So I am not doing anything to help- Steve is pretty much the cook in the family so I am in the kitchen keeping him company and reading some magazine. Steve goes outside to light the grill. Man I would LOVE to work for Rolling Stones...."Dre, come out here."
I go outside on our little pourch.
"What do you think happened here?" Steve says. I look at the grill which he is pointed at and from afar and in the dark- it looks like someone piled a bunch of little fire logs IN our grill. "What is that?" I ask.....
Steve goes over to it and turns on our grill light that we got for our wedding. (I love wedding presents) so this .... thing .... lits up in the light. It is a pile of leaves. What in the hell?
We are both staring at it. "Who would put a pile of leave in our grill?" These leaves are the shape of the grill. There is SO many of them. Steve gets one leaf off of the top of the grill. The pile of leaves move. "Holy shit it moved." I say. "What?" like Steve does not believe what I just said ... or maybe with his shitty hearing I need to say it louder. "It just MOVED." Sure enough- that was like a roll cue for the thing to move so it moves. We both RUN back in the house- I am pretty sure I scream. We shut the door.
We are both starting at the pile and we are now inside both creeped out. I tell Steve he needs to do something about it and he says, "F that! I am not going out there!!" He goes back out there to shut the grill and turn off the gas. He comes back in, "They can have the winter! We will just get a new grill!!" We get out the Forman that we got for a wedding present (I love wedding presents) and cook up our steaks.
Seriously? So we have to let the thing just live in there?!
So DAYS later I make him open the grill again. Maybe if it gets cold enough it will leave. I hope.
So after a few days of having the grill cover OPEN (which- what will that do or prove to our creature anyway?) we are good to go knowing that .... maybe ... this thing will pack up and move. SO it starts snowing tonight .... Steve and I start talking- We know feel bad for this creature in the grill- its little head is getting snowed on and now it is cold!! So I look out and the nest is COVERED in snow, I tell Steve we need to put the grill top down so he can have his home again. (sidenote: we need a new grill)
I go outside with Steve behind me saying "MAN UP!!" Excuse me? Last time I check you had the balls in this relationship. SO I tell him I cannot do it- I cannot get that close to the grill without losing my shit. SO I come in the warm house, Steve puts on my shoes and goes out there. He is approaching the grill (at this point I wished I would of had my video camera rolling) and puts down the grill top- when all of a sudden creature comes FLYING out at him!! Steve's face was nothing I had never seen before- the look of fear, the look of I may or may not shit myself and I am leaning towards MAY at this point of my life. The look of HOLY SHIT is on his face. I have never seen Steve move or react to ANYTHING that fast in the 4 years I have known him. He is seriously scared. I am freaking out just as much- but I am on the safety zone. The creature cannot touch base .... I am safe!! I fear for Steve- I look really hard to see this THING that has been taking up space and I see that it was a squirrel. You know that one part in National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation where the crazy ass squirrel jumps out of the tree?! THAT was this moment right before my eyes. The squirrel jumped out at Steve and then took off on the fence. The thing was pissed off and now we know that this squirrel is in our grill storing his damn winter food. Now what? We did not clean it up- We were both too freaked to go touch it again. Steve keeps saying, "he can have the winter!" I really want to clean it out. But then I see Alvin, Simon and Theodore just sitting there coming up with a bad ass Christmas album .... How can I kick them out? Maybe my grill is their recording studio.
All in all....the creature still has its nest. For now.
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